'All girls like being looked at' a friend said to me; a rather cheeky claim, specially coming from a guy and so I instantly rebuffed it.
'Pleased' did not return many results. 'Embarrassed' returned a few hits: The whole class looking at me as if I were a psychopath after having given a gross answer, which I am NOT elaborating here; having made to stand up in math class with a few nerds, after having solved a supposedly difficult problem; waking up and realizing that you are in Physics class, and are sitting on the first bench; a class of 200 trainees looking at me after i confused myself and the lecturer and a generation of trainees with a really long doubt… LIKE it?… I think not. Or perhaps it is because I was embarrassed, that I remember these times. Could there have been times when everyone was indeed looking at me, and I never even noticed??? … naaah.
I remember being this geeky kid in school; shy, absent minded, low on confidence, lots of stage fright, people looking at me was exactly what i totally avoided. And having classmates like mine, it was better being low profile and a backbencher, than to be a class monitor and get paper planes and chalks thrown at you.
Being invisible had it's advantages. Nobody knew you existed, unless you were caught passing chits to your friends. Last bench had it's advantages too, the teachers did not reach that far, you could sit with your shoes off, and you could steal as many glances at your crush, without the fear of getting caught. ;)
Then somewhere on the way, things changed, and i realized that standing up in front of them all wasn’t too tough after all. I think i owe it to all the many ‘questions’ that came to my mind, and which I asked in the geometry class… which IS, by the way, what my whole class remembers me for, till date. :D
I know many girls who like being the center of attention, who like to dress up and absolutely love being photographed… but then I know many guys who like that too… So I can truthfully say that the claim is untrue, the generalization baseless and the statement above made solely to justify the ‘bird watching’.
-Madhura
5 comments:
nice one..
Some food for thought: Do you think it also has to do with confidence? I think so..
I remember looking at you and thinking... "hi mulagi tar Einstein ahe..." when you were asking that "still incomplete" question... as after some time you started laughing at your own question or may be at the legth of that question...
Another einstein in our batch, Kiran James, had to explain to me what that question was all about...
anyways... this is a good one...
but wouldn't you like it if someone is looking at you because you are looking good??
:) liked ur style of writing!
and man, u r Miss Modest! :)
hey!
Really nice post..inspired me to write something too. :)
Hi Madhz...nice post again..weird in your own authentic way. Makes a few things about yourself clearer :). For those unaware, I was Madhz's class mate for a good 7 years.
A few things first...Einstein as a family name runs in the family...her sister is the actual Einstein :). I second MH that at times, her questions themselves need to be explained...to my horror...I had to explain the teacher what she was asking once !!!!!! I bet I never told you that eh Madhz ?
I think you are at a stage...where if people are looking at you...its more because they want to be like you...gone are the days when people look at you and wonder...what the hell is she on about now?? Being a geek always pays off eh ?? Have to wait a long long time though...LOL...kidding.
I think I second the opinion of JH. I think you have more confidence in yourself..and see the value of sometimes coming off as stupid...when you actually end up being the most intelligent. If you can pull it off....that is.
I guess with you...you had only one philosophy before..."if you can't beat them, confuse them". However, it mostly confused you !! Especially during that Geometry session...boy that was something...thanks for reminding me...those 10 mins came flooding back to me :)
I had a different dilemma....while people tried to be invisible...and there were a few...meant some people like myself..were always visible. Sometimes I could have used your magical cloak of invisibility.
But you are a swell kid...one of my favourites...have been over the years...and whats this about looking at your crush, un-noticed and invisible ?
Post a Comment